


Love is a War in the Hearts

by bangelus9



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst and Romance, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-07-15 08:35:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16059449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bangelus9/pseuds/bangelus9
Summary: Ellie discovers the scars that Nick carries. She is not very sure of being able to save him from himself





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We always see in the series that treat Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) I would like to be treated someday with Nick, to show us more of him. Also announced that Nick and Ellie were closer and could be the beginning of something stronger among the characters.

 

**_It all started with him muttering._ **

-Do not. No. - A regret humbly recited to accompany the turn of his head on the pillow.

 _Someone is having a nightmare_. Awakened by her movements, Ellie leaned on one elbow and looked at Nick, her ads lit by the green glow of her digital alarm clock. _Poor guy_ , his expression on anything less relaxed. With her brow furrowed and her lips pressed together, she shuddered, her movements becoming more and more wild.

Extending a hand, she placed it on her cheek, to calm him down." Okay, hey ... Nick. You are having a ... "Chirid.

It was impossible for her to finish the sentence as he rolled over her, one hand squeezing her throat as he continued to murmur, louder now: "Do not! Fuck off. I'm not going to say anything. I will kill you first."

 _It was definitely a possibility_ -Ellie guessed quickly Although a more docile woman could have let her lover choke her to death, Ellie was not that woman. _The problem was, how to stop it?_

Given his size and his obvious lack of ability to figure out who he was drowning in, he doubted he could get his fingers out of his throat or fight against it. He could grab the weapon he held close, but shooting Nick seemed a bit extreme. With her vision spotted with stains from lack of oxygen, she said a mental _"I'm sorry"_ and kneed her jewelry.

He took a deep, big breath, and his grip on her neck loosened, enough for her to scream:"Nick, wake up!"

Instantly, his eyes opened and his body was motionless. He looked at her and then lowered the hand that was still around his neck. Horror filled his eyes. Ellie could not miss the anguish of Nick's whisper: "Shit, what have I done?"

Quick as lightning, he pulled away from her and walked until he got up beside the bed, every muscle in his body tensed with agitation. He paced by the side of the bed while muttering: "Fuck. I am so sorry. Shit. I should have known. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!"

His last epithet exploded a millisecond before his fist hit the wall, his poor plaster wall, which now had a large hole. Nick cursed again and resumed the rhythm, muttering so low. "Nick! It's enough ... it was just a bad dream ..."

but seeing that he continued with his tantrum left him alone, with a lump in his throat and the anguish of seeing it reflected in his eyes.

"I am sorry."

 _But he did not feel it at all, not after the way they had finally connected_. Some would have called it sex, but Ellie knew that what happened was something else. Their union was the beginning. Or it had been. Because he could already feel himself walking away, lamenting what they had done. He tried to lift his mood.

"You'll regret this, because not only do I expect you to repair the hole in the wall, but as the mix of colors rarely matches, now you're going to paint the entire room." He jerked up his head, and met his gaze, eyes burning with anger and misery. His voice came out husky with emotion.

"Is that the only thing that worries you? Make sure he fixes the damage? Who the fuck cares a fucking hole? I just tried to drown you during my sleep."

"You were having a nightmare."  She shrugged her shoulders "That happens."

"Yes, it happens, every damn night. That's why I do not sleep with anyone. That's why I tried to get away from you. That's why I did not want this to happen. He gestured toward the wrinkled bed, which still smelled of sex."

 _Oh no, he was not going to use this as an excuse. I was not the only one to blame_.

" I should have known that I did not have to touch you while you were having a nightmare. Next time, I'll try to talk to you first."

He ran his hand through his short hair. "Next time? There will not be a fucking next time, Ellie... I warned you that it was damaged. It is not safe for you to be around me."

She snorted.

"Are not you sure? Um, did you miss the part where I woke you up with a knee in your private parts? I would say that if someone was in real danger it was you. Luckily, I was awake and I knew it was you, otherwise you could have woken up with a gun in your face."

Nick's jaw dropped." You have a gun here."

"I told you, I keep it under the pillow."

"Charged?"

She could not help but roll her eyes. "Of course it's loaded. I would not do much good empty, do not?"

Nick rubbed his face and, as he walked again, muttered something more: "Oh shit, that could have been very bad. Oh shit."

She could handle her self-recrimination. _But he putting on his clothes and hiding that delicious body? No way_.

"Where do you think you are going?" She asked.

"I need to go."

"We are in the middle of the night. Go back to bed We have to talk about this."

"There's nothing to say, Ellie."

"I would say there is a lot. Starting with why you have these nightmares and what we can do to stop them.

"It's part of my post-traumatic stress shit, said the fucking military psychiatrist. And no, I do not want to talk about that. I just want to forget it. But I can not. Drugs Alcohol. Great fucking joints. No matter what they give me, or how I try, there is nothing to stop it. I have tried it. Tried so fucking hard."

"Yes, but before you did not have me to help you."

"Exactly. Which means I could not hurt you, that's why I have to leave. I meant it. Traumatized by what he had almost done, he would leave. The thing was, could I ever get him back?"

"And what about what happened here? We made love, Nick. Does not count at all?" Pain crossed his features, followed quickly by a cold determination. His stomach tensed.

"I warned you that he was not the man for you. What happened tonight has not changed that.

Oh, but he had. Before, Ellie could still wait, maybe, to forget Nick. Now, however, he had already tasted the passion and affection he could have in his arms. And in no way could he settle for another person. Unfortunately, he seemed determined.

"this is not because of Gibbs rule 12 .. this is more .. more serious, people like you do not mix with bad guys like me.." mumbled Nick "I'm doing you a favor"

"No, it's not a favor ... you're running away from this" Ellie gestured between the two of them. "What you're doing is called COBARD."

"And what, then are you going?" She could not help the anger in his words. He thought that he had finally reached inside. And he had shown him how good they could be together. And they were good. His pleasantly aching body could attest to that, and yet there he was, ready to leave.

"It's safer for you this way."

"Safer for you, you mean. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You're a big chicken, Nick." 

" I'm a threat .. Ellie"

"Only when you sleep. We can deal with that. I can use a separate bedroom. Or we could handcuff ourselves to bed. Which could be really fun, now that I think about it."  _Mmm, just think in the possibilities of a Nick tied, naked and at his mercy, made her wet_. He, on the other hand, did not seem so enthusiastic since his ass Jean was heading towards the door.

"Don't you dare to leave!" She cried.

But Nick did not respond.

With a tormented look he left the room. Ellie gritted her teeth.

Nick was not kidding when he said he had problems. It would take more than one night of sex or words to fix it. Luckily for him, he had inherited the stubborn nature of his mother and also that of his father. Nick could try to get back to how things were before, but now that Ellie had penetrated through a crack in his armored heart, it was not possible for him to stay out.

_I'm here to stay, even if I have to beat you to become a permanent part of my life_

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

 

The dream eluded Nick and not because he was on the floor of a closet. He had slept in worse places. The safe padded carpet that he always beat the hard earth. The dream did not come because he was worried about the incursion of his nightmares and the fear that they would return.

 _Lie_. His fear of hurting him during sleep could have had part of fault. No boy wanted to wake up suffocating the woman with whom he had just been in bed, especially when sex It was amazing No, the real reason I could not rest was because Ellie slept less than five meters away from him. It would not take a moment Fall back into the burning bed with her. A bed that smelled like Ellie and sex. Amazing sex Fucking amazing, Fucking the sex I wanted to have again. He clenched his fists, so as not to hit something else on her, and that I demanded that he replace it in his closet.

He still could not believe the balls that she had, telling him after there was almost Strangled, _I would have to fix and paint the room. Did not he understand the seriousness of what he had almost done?_

He tried to keep the distance. And if I had thought before that it was Hard to resist, how the hell was he going to face it now that he knew how well they complemented each other in bed? It turned out that she was, also, just as hot on the floor.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Nick growled as she He put it in the closet and put it on top of him, with his silky body still naked.

"Accurring with you. It is a thing that people do."

 _Other people. Noel._ "I do not snuggle up."

As if she were going to listen to him. Ellie put her face under the shirt that It covered his chest.

"Yes now"

"You have to sleep a little."

"I'll do it if you stop talking."

"In your bed. "

"I'm fine where I am."

He could not help the growl. "You're frustrating me"

"Welcome to the club. Even though mine has more to do with the sexual type. Would you mind fixing it? "Ellie moved against him, and brazenly his cock, already semi-erect, it was enlarged to press against his body a way I could not ignore.

"I thought I told you to leave me alone." complained Nick

"You have said many things, most of them I did not lend Attention. Considering that you were determined to hit you, I thought about let you sink into your misery. "

"But?" Because he knew she was slowing down.

Elllie laughed. Seriously, she fucking laughed before telling him. "But I've heard that misery loves company, so here I am."

"Your kidding is not going to work," growled Nick. What a lie. I was already relieving your tension. Well, at least stress.

"Oh, you think I'm cute." Ellie sounded excessively satisfied

"As if you did not know it, montery will not save you, however, if I accidentally fall asleep and I have one of my nightmares of new."

"Well, we do not sleep, I can think of better things to do." Once again, he moved, and he could not stop himself from escaping groan.

"Why do you have to do this so hard?"

"Well, it would not be fun if it were smooth."

Nick took half a second to catch the dirty hint. _Ellie Talking dirty. To the._

A surge of desire went through him, which was not surprising. Was the laughter shaking his body that really surprised him the most. See, and it seemed that the sound also surprised her because she stayed motionless before joining him.

  
"You do not have to go through this only Nick .. I'm here and I assume the consequences and what has to come" She stroked his cheeks "Do not leave me out ... It does not have to be that way"

  
"I do not want you to see me like that, that way ... outside of me" Nick admitted with a lump in his throat

"Wars are not won alone, you have to support yourself and someone, aopyate and me as I rely on you .."

  
"You do something better than someone damaged"

Ellie's inconceivable love and love "I want everything from you Nick, your immense Ego .. Your jokes and jokes.Your fears .. Your traumas .. Your heart .."

"I tensed it .."

  
"Is that so?"

  
Nick brought one of his hands to his chest, where his heart beat with frenzy "I love you .."

  
"And I to you" sealed his promise with a hot kiss "Are we really going to sleep here or my bed?" I complained to her for a long time, Nick's laughed carrying her out of there


End file.
